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Signs You Might Be In A Controlling Relationship

Signs You Might Be In A Controlling Relationship

Hi Everyone!

Here at Explicit Movement, we want to ultimately see people have healthy relationships in God's beautiful design. Yet, we have all experienced unhealthy dynamics in a relationship, haven't we? Sometimes, relationships can even be abusive. I have experienced being a victim of an abusive relationship in my past, and maybe you have as well.

I have a friend who was once in an abusive relationship but was eventually able to get free and find healing.

Later on, while working in a business office, she observed many of her co-workers displaying behaviors she recognized from her past, such as nervously rushing to answer the phone. She had her suspicions… and her hunches proved correct as, over time, Eleven of the women confessed they were in abusive relationships!

Wow. It can be that common.

This month, I want to talk about emotional manipulation, which is something that can affect us in both friendships and romantic relationships.

Would you be able to spot the signs?

Here are a few red flags that might point to unhealthy manipulation:

  • Jealousy, possessiveness, or trying to isolate you from friends and family.

  • An inability to admit they are wrong, which may include blaming you for their behavior or twisting the truth so you doubt your recollection of events.

  • Wanting you to only focus on their needs and how they feel while showing little or no concern for your needs and how you feel.

  • Silencing your voice so you don’t get to have a say in a lot of matters. A lack of respect for your opinions and an assumption that they know what is best for you.

  • A growing control over your life, such as how you dress, your schedule, and your activities.

  • Ridiculing, criticizing, or putting you down regularly. Acting "nice" when they want something.

  • Manipulating you using threats. This could be as subtle as your fear of their strong emotional reaction or as extreme as threats to harm you, others, or themselves.

If you recognize these tendencies in a friendship or relationship, it may be time to get help. If you suspect you are in an abusive relationship, there are many resources available to help you find a way out.

Stay tuned for more next week! Pass on this information to others including youth that you know. You and I can help guide young people into avoiding damaging experiences and instead, help them to have healthy, thriving relationships!

Meditate on this passage (I love this paraphrase!):

"Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up. Love never stops loving. It extends beyond the gift of prophecy, which eventually fades away. It is more enduring than tongues, which will one day fall silent. Love remains long after words of knowledge are forgotten." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, TPT

Blessings, Michele

The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Call 1-800-799-7233.

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